We walk into the spacious atrium of the lovely new hospital in Fort Myers and the receptionist sends us to a meeting room at the back of the cafeteria. As usual we're half an hour early, but one of the leaders and a participant are already there chatting. I pick up a sign-in sheet and we take seats around a u-shaped set of tables in comfortable armchairs. People drift in, greeting each other, exclaiming at how well others look, telling of their own weight loss accomplishments. The room soon fills up with people whose size and shape varies hugely. Most are women, but there are a few men present, too. Their ages vary, but most seem to be in there thirties and forties. Barbara, one of the leaders, opens the meeting and cautions us that the contents of the meeting are personal, private and confidential. Because I agree that confidentiality should be protected, I'll try to tell stories without revealing anything about the people who tell them.
The leader says the topic for today will be body image and asks if anyone has anything to say. At first there is silence, then one person speaks up, then another. For a while the conversation runs in a line around the table then people begin to jump in, the room becomes increasingly animated, there is applause after people tell their stories or announce how much weight they've lost. Some people sit quietly throughout the meeting, others contribute once or twice, some chime in frequently. One woman says she has lost 38 pounds in the 39 days since her surgery. She says her boyfriend calls her every day to tell her how beautiful she is. Another woman, who has lost 125 pounds, says she likes to dress in hooker clothes and feel sexy. A man tells of losing 85 pounds and now being able to think about beginning to work again. Another woman, obviously in pain, has just had a tummy tuck after losing 203 pounds. Even in pain, she has insisted on coming to the meeting. She hasn't told her parents she's had surgery, and they haven't seen her in three years. They're coming for a visit soon.
What about body imagery? Several women talk about getting into clothes they haven't worn in years. Some have lost weight right past clothes they didn't get a chance to try on. One woman says she hasn't told anyone anything about her surgery. Another says she told everyone who would listen. They talk about being invisible as people because they're so big as presences. They talk about hiding at home, afraid to go out in public. They talk about being so tired they can only move from bench to bench at the mall while their kids shop. One person says she goes frequently to Walt Disney World because, for the first time, she fits in the seats of the rides. Another worries about being seen in new ways by men even though she's the same person she always was. She's not sure she always likes the new attention. How does life change for a person who's been fat for an entire life when the fat goes away? Several people acknowledge the need for therapy. Others nod their heads. A particularly trim and stylish woman passes a sheet of pictures around. She has lost over 300 pounds. In the family picture with husband and children, her pride glows through loud and clear.
There is discussion of Dr. Marema and his staff. At this point the meeting almost sounds more like a cult than a meeting. Dr. Marema's first bariatric surgery was performed on his niece. His wife and several other members of his family have also had the operation. Bariatric surgery sounds like a mission in life as well as a way to a very lucrative medical practice. People talk of his compassion, his humor, his toughness, and how difficult it has become to see him as the practice has grown. We are told there are now four surgeons performing gastric bypass surgery at the practice. If you want the two new guys, you can have surgery in four to six weeks. If you insist on Marema, it could take up to six months to schedule with him. There is also great enthusiasm for the pre- and post-operative care. People speak of the importance of attending workshops and resource meetings.
As the meeting comes to an end, several people stop to talk with us. A couple of women share their experiences. A man talks of his hope for the surgery and himself. We look admiringly at one young woman's pictures, including a photo of her scar and stomach tube. I am reassured and encouraged by the meeting. Even though I'm apprehensive about giving up carbs for a year or more while the surgery works its magic, I know I'll be doing myself a favor. Irene, too, seems more comfortable about the surgery than she has been. We head for the exit and set out to find a place for lunch. We order combination plates at a Mexican restaurant, but must bring half back to finish at dinner.